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Wylie Writes’ Ten Best Movies of 2013
By: Addison Wylie
Now that we’ve recognized the bad movies that were slingshot at audiences last year, it’s time to move on and engulf ourselves in the cream of the crop.
2013 introduced a wide variety of great films to audiences. I feel like I say that every year, but as I scour my selected picks, the only thing these movies share are the odd genre they’re grouped in.
Take documentaries, for example. Audiences were shown terrific autobiographies that opened their subjects like books. André Gregory: Before and After Dinner was one that caught my interest. Gregory is a writer, an actor, a director, an all around theatrical wiz, yet he presents himself as such a humble human being who could easily sweep the average movie goer off their feet. Director Cindy Kleine doesn’t have to stretch to find a comfortable groove for this pleasant doc.
Nicky’s Family wasn’t necessarily a straightforward autobiography like André Gregory: Before and After Dinner, but it told a revolutionary story involving Nicholas Winton. Winton, who rescued Jewish children before WWII, is shown in high regard with Matej Mináč’s film. Nicky’s Family may look like something you’d find on PBS on a Sunday afternoon, but the doc’s importance could impact a sold-out stadium.
Rounding out the list of sensational documentaries was Lucy Walker’s The Crash Reel, a film that snuck onto our radars when the year was winding down. The message about the importance of safety during extreme sports follows alongside snowboarder Kevin Pearce’s inspirational story. Walker’s doc is incredible, and you’ll never want to take your eyes off of it.
There were a few independent films that caught my attention and impressed me with their storytelling. The Oxbow Cure, for instance, is a film that moves deliberately slow. However, Yonah Lewis and Calvin Thomas were able to chill me to the bone with their frigid settings and drawn out creeping.
Sally El Hosaini’s My Brother the Devil was a fantastic feature film debut, providing superb performances from actors who could rationalize their drastic arcs quite well. Sean Garrity’s Blood Pressure was a worthy-enough thriller with an anchoring turn from Michelle Giroux. The film has its flaws, but I enjoyed myself all the way through this low budget drama.
And, Tower. I desperately wanted Tower and actor Derek Bogart to receive more recognition for their contributions to Toronto’s indie scene. It was an uncomfortable, often amusing and unhinged jarring character study from filmmaker Kazik Radwanski. I’ve seen a lot of fine performances from lots of actors in 2013, but Bogart’s portrayal of a disconnected wanderer stuck with me all year round.
Of course, I had some mainstream picks. I thought The Wolf of Wall Street was great fun. It was a lengthly film, but it showed audiences that Martin Scorsese is still a gutsy filmmaker willing to tackle any genre at any given time. August: Osage County was another strong contender. It’s ensemble cast knocked the film out of the park, and frequently had me in stitches.
Blue is the Warmest Colour, The Spectacular Now, and The Way, Way Back were three coming-of-age films that were unforgettable. All three featured moving performances from everyone involved, the creative minds behind the flicks were fearless, and nothing was sugarcoated. Movie goers could sense the filmmakers treating the characters with earnest gratitude, which helped sustain the staying power of each flick.
But, enough lollygaging. Let’s take a look at what fleshed out the top spots of 2013.
Underrated Movies:
Everyday is Like Sunday
It’s A Disaster!
Nicky’s Family
Texas Chainsaw 3D
Warm Bodies
Honourable Mentions:
#15. Tatsumi
#14. Charles Bradley: Soul of America
#13. To The Wonder
#12. Nebraska
#11. Short Term 12
Wylie Writes’ Ten Best Movies of 2013
#10. Spring Breakers
Spring Breakers acts as a statement about the impatient youth of today, and about the need for constant change amongst a modern younger generation.
It’s also a stylistic blast and an interesting conversation starter. Filmmaker Harmony Korine reassures his fans that he isn’t leaving, and he brilliantly introduces younger audiences to a new way to look at movies.
#9. Her
Spike Jonze’s poignant work is a personal film about an impersonal society.
#8. Downloaded
Downloaded is a fantastic documentary on the brink of a remarkable level involving the rise and the inevitable fall of the file trading peer-to-peer service Napster.
#7. 12 Years a Slave
An absolutely brutal, but rewarding watch that’s extremely well acted by its vast ensemble.
Filmmaker Steve McQueen shows an anthropological side to the relationship between an owner and his slave, as well as a fascinating, stomach churning outlook on how easy it was for people to consider other people “possessions”.
Jim Mickle’s We Are What We Are shows a hauntingly humanistic portrayal of something that’s downright unfathomable: cannibalism. The film is an excellent slow burn with a jaw-dropping payoff.
#5. A Hijacking
Unfortunately overshadowed, A Hijacking is a riveting docudrama that I hope gets the respect and attention it deserves despite ingredients that some may be seasick about.
Dallas Buyers Club is an all around exceptional piece of work with flawless lead performances by Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto.
#3. Mud
Like the film’s stoic bluegrass backdrop, Mud resonates quietly. It’s an outstanding movie with phenomenal acting and careful direction.
#2. Before Midnight
Richard Linklater’s Before Midnight is brilliantly observant with its authentic portrayal of two people who love – and will always love – each other. The screenplay is simply one of the best.
#1. The Place Beyond the Pines
A complete 180° for filmmaker Derek Cianfrance. This sweeping drama about redemption, fatherhood, and “doing the right thing” is absorbing and never drops the ball. A true classic in the making.
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‘Ten Best Movies of 2013’ Artwork by: Sonya Padovani
Solo
By: Addison Wylie
Solo starts out on an “A” game, but ends up finishing with a generous “C” grade.
Isaac Cravit’s independent thriller is a straight-up campfire story – and, the filmmaker knows it. Gillian (played by former Degrassi: The Next Generation co-star Annie Clark) needs to prove herself to be a capable camp counsellor in order to obtain a summer job. The newbie needs to pull a “solo”, a two-night experience on a secluded island that will test her survival skills.
Cravit, directing and writing his first feature film, is having a lot of fun playing with the conventions of a campfire horror. The filmmaker even has fellow councillors telling Gillian rumours of haunted activity that took place on the island before she embarks on her trip.
These moments don’t feel like Cravit is pushing too hard for the audience to recognize what the film is trying to be and he sticks his landing well with these scenes of eerie dialogue.
When Gillian arrives at the island and is forced to investigate mysteries in the woods at night, Cravit nails the creepiness. As the camera slowly moves around a freaked out Clark, we can’t help but get sweaty palms as we feel ourselves growing more anxious. What’s better is that there aren’t too many of these moments, making these quiet pressure cookers enunciate strongly when they happen.
Cravit is also having a ball throwing red herrings at his audience, including possible antagonists that may have more to do with the island’s history than we realize.
Solo reveals more, including what’s overlooking Gillian. The routes the film travels on is all a matter of subjectivity. I watched Solo with my wife, who enjoyed where Cravit took his scary movie. I, on the other hand, thought these decisions made the film less effectively stimulating and increasingly mundane.
Without spoiling the main course, Cravit’s screenplay makes the right choice to make delirium the main evil in Solo. The problem is – for me, at least – he chooses the wrong type of crazy. Solo would’ve been better off as something more psychological than being so literal.
Solo is typical enough to get by. Some gory effects towards the end are appreciated and certainly help matters tonal wise. But, part of the joy of watching these smaller scale horrors/thrillers is finding steady specialties that make movie goers gush to others about the film – resulting in consecutive views. I just didn’t get that with Solo.
Here Comes the Devil
By: Addison Wylie
I don’t know what possession is more crucial and harmful: the ones that occur in Here Comes the Devil within the Tijuana cliffs or the wrestling match between mature horror and fanboy immaturity that litters the film’s screenplay.
Adrián García Bogliano’s horror is one of those movies where audiences can tell there are heavy influences driving the film. It’s also one of those movies where these homages don’t simply stay on the filmmaker’s sleeve, but rather engulf the whole film.
Bogliano shows movie goers he knows what makes a memorable horror. He seems to know how to establish the beginning of something sinister while also letting the audience use their imagination when it comes to more chilling content. A lot of what happens in Here Comes the Devil looms in the shadows, and are only expressed by what others reflect. These lead to some really creepy moments of pure description.
The performances aren’t half bad either. Young Alan Martinez and Michele Garcia know how to burn a hole through other characters and sink their ominous presence into our afterthoughts.
The roles given to the child cast are more interesting than the adults though. There’s no balance between the two groupings. That said, the relationship between the parents (Francisco Barreiro and Laura Caro) is believable. We feel their stress over the loss of their children and their incessant harping as they try and figure out what’s really going on once their kids become blank slates.
However, the characterization behind the older folks is flimsy. For what feels like every ten pages of Bogliano’s script, abrupt and graphic sexual matter crashes into the story. These scenes of rawness could help flesh these adults out more, but they enter the picture with such aggression and are stretched beyond their limits. As I mentioned, it’s as if another force is snatching the pen away from Bogliano. A being who writes “naked girl gets more naked and shows boobs” with such pre-pubescent enthusiasm.
Despite how Bogliano directs his actors and how he makes a path for this painstakingly slow burn story, Here Comes the Devil can never shake its “been there, done that” vibe. It reminded me of a lower end variation of James Wan’s Insidious. There’s an evil force consistently joining others, and we’re constantly using our own thoughts to fill in the grisly visuals. Funny enough, Here Comes the Devil also hits the same flaw Insidious collided with – it’s conclusion becomes too showy.
What makes me favour Insidious over this is that Wan was able to generate paranoia and increasing fear while keeping up with a decent pace. Bogliano, on the other hand, takes double the amount of time to portray or explain anything. It’s a film that can’t decipher the difference between “a slow burn” pace and a “slow” pace. Because of that, we get an end product that drags its feet all the way to the finish line.
Here Comes the Devil offers very little to get excited about, no matter how much gore, nudity, and creepy kids it hurls at the audience. Then again, should I expect anything else from a film that cared so much to make me not care?
Odd Thomas
By: Addison Wylie
Odd Thomas is certainly an odd case indeed. Stephen Sommers’ adaptation of Dean Koontz’s novel has good things about it, yet it has difficulty coming together as a whole.
Anton Yelchin stars as Odd Thomas, a sweetly distraught hero with an ability to avenge the deaths of others. He’s approached by silent spirits who then lead him on paths, and it’s his duty to right whatever wrongs he faces. The local police chief Wyatt Porter (played by Willem Dafoe) knows very little about the extent of Odd’s visions, but knows enough to believe him. With the additional support of his bewitching girlfriend Stormy (played by Addison Timlin), this particular mission Odd Thomas is exposed to could be his biggest challenge yet.
Yelchin has recently been in this horror/comedy realm with the underrated remake to Fright Night. He’s shown in other vehicles that he does a solid job as a performer showing that growth from an awkward bystander to a stronger, more protective character.
With Sommer throwing Yelchin immediately into the rugged role of Odd Thomas, the first couple of scenes are jarring and hard to take seriously. Yelchin, being an easily adaptable and talented actor, eventually stands his own in this off-kilter flick.
Everyone has a good relationship in Odd Thomas, and that helps the film tremendously. Although, the dialogue Sommers has written for the characters tends to be a bit too snappy for the film’s own good.
The rapport between Porter and Thomas is charming, and its a nice change seeing authority giving the cuckoo lead the benefit of the doubt. The chemistry between Odd and Stormy is very cute, as is the compatibility between Yelchin and Timlin. The quirky couple can sometimes push the limits of being too adorable with Stormy also being too accepting of Odd’s oddities, but these hiccups don’t take away from an especially emotional conclusion.
I even enjoyed the design of the invisible creatures known as bodaches. They slither around unbeknownst pedestrians as they seek evil to feed on. The film frequently resembles a Sunday night movie on a family oriented television network, but the film is not afraid to get bloody and the bodaches’ shapeshifting quickness will give audiences the willies.
The faults at hand are caused by Sommers’ overstuffed and baggy script. It’s clear to see the filmmaker was wanting to capture a noir feel to the mysteries surrounded by fantastical beings with Odd Thomas being our slick sleuth. We’re supposed to hear this through Yelchin’s narration, but Sommers accidentally mistakes inner monologues with long-winded expository narration. And, we get lots of it.
I haven’t read Koontz’s work, but it seems as if the author is grabbing hold of a variety of different tones amongst the weirdness. When Sommers applies all of these different moods to a film, it feels as if the filmmaker is trying to cover too much ground as he digs a hole that becomes deeper and deeper with each scene. A strenuous climax is the perfect example of the screenplay piling on more stuff to the point of exhaustion.
We do, however, get plenty of high-flying battles; showing that Sommers hasn’t lost his touch to deliver clamouring action pieces. Except this time, it’s set in a lower budgeted movie.
Odd Thomas is adequate, I suppose, but even that feels like I’m trying too hard to be optimistic. By the end, I was sort of glad the film had ended; which is too bad considering before my sigh of relief I was finding enjoyable spurts inside this yarn.
Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1
By: Addison Wylie
Lloyd Kaufman has proven with Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1 that you can go “back to the well” and resurrect a bawdy riot that was started more than two decades ago. The filmmaking ringmaster returns to Tromaville to continue the story of plagued teenagers who are slowly mutating due to exposure of toxic waste.
The nasty nuclear power plant (which was stationed beside the high school) has been torn down, and a corrupt food plant has taken its place. The food is littered with radioactivity and its no secret to those who provide it. When shown green glowing product, the boss of the factory (played by Kaufman) answers, “well, you wanted to go green, right?!”
Soon, the food is delivered to the high school and is scarfed down by the unruly students of Tromaville High School. The raw food mutates teenagers but takes a particular nauseating turn on the school’s glee club. The off-key nerdy musicians are given a bad ass makeover (including the removal of their tin ears) and become the film’s “Cretins”.
Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1 wishes to be a semi-remake of Troma’s schlocky classic, but Kaufman’s comedy has its wires crossed.
Tubs of radioactive slime dress shady sets in the film. Return to Nuke’ Em High is like the cinematic equivalent to one of these steaming containers. It’s disgustingly funny and over-the-top, its ickiness is enough to make you squirm, but its overstuffed zealousness causes a glaring mess.
I’ve enjoyed most of the Troma films I’ve seen, and I even go as far as to consider myself a fan. Lloyd Kaufman’s integrity as a filmmaker is admirable and the overall communal filmmaking process behind each movie displays how faithful these crews are to genre moviemaking.
The films that roll out of Troma have playful qualities to them and appear to be unaware as to how boorish their movie gets. The ragtag groups always have their heart in the right place – even if that means splattered on the floor squirting out countless bloody squibs.
When the films go too far, its those happy-go-lucky attitudes that save them from going down a dark hole. If these films are your cup o’ tea, all you can do is laugh along and shake your head. Either way, you’re having fun because the filmmakers don’t know any better. They’re too busy entertaining you in grotesque ways.
In the case of Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1, Kaufman and his bratty co-writers (Travis Campbell, Casey Clapp, Derek Dressler, and Aaron Hamel) know exactly how offensive they’re being. It’s this arrogance that causes friction between the film and the audience, hindering our ability to like the film as a whole for its original foolish appeal.
While the film starts with an incredibly strong collection of hilarious one-liners, slapstick, and sight gags, its the film’s politically incorrectness that gets in the way.
With Troma, no one is safe. If a current event or taboo crosses the film’s path, you can bet its getting wrung through Troma’s laugh factory. Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1, however, goes out of its way to make off-colour remarks and peabrain jokes about school shootings and controversial news headliners. The screenplay annoyingly tries to shoehorn too much “edginess” and it drifts Kaufman’s focus off of whatever film he wants to make.
The remake angle gets scrapped as new characters are being introduced. Luckily, each actor is playing their showboating roles well while knowing exactly what type of movie they’ve signed up for – which briefly distracts us from the problem. Clay von Carlowitz is hysterical as an insane, sexually pent up poser and our female leads (Chrissy played by Asta Paredes and Lauren played by Catherine Corcoran) know how to make their campiness captivating among the absurdity.
Paredes and Corcoran have scenes that endlessly carry on, unfortunately. For instance, the love scenes are stretched until the seams are showing. Kaufman’s the kind of director who – I’m sure – has meaning behind these prolonged scenes. It was as if I could faintly hear Lloyd explaining how Chrissy and Lauren are sharing intimacy as they discover themselves more. Look at it as Troma’s Nuclear Green is the Warmest Colour.
But, when these sensual scenes go on for too long, the meaning has less impact. We can see the floods of nudity and sex are there to be, well, just that.
Suddenly, the remake angle is picked back up as the movie’s final third approaches. And because this is the first volume in a needlessly complex two-part movie event, a lot of what the film pitches lands with an anticlimactic clunk. I would’ve much rather seen a cut with more discipline towards the expendable sexual content and the boundless supply of toilet humour.
When I say that the first third has an immaculately enjoyable rush, I really mean it. The wild portion contains everything I love about these wacky movies from a loyal team of favourable devotees. If Kaufman and company could’ve kept up those benign spirits, Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1 could’ve easily been one of Troma’s best and an impressive comeback for the lo-fi studio. Instead, it’s passable with lively side-splitters peppered here and there.
I’m hoping that by going “back to the well”, Kaufman can also remember how fun movies can be when smug innuendoes and tastelessness don’t take the spotlight away from a film’s main components – an unhinged story with silly sincerity. Here’s hoping Volume 2 fares better.
WIN a DVD of Jacob Vaughan’s ‘Bad Milo’
One of my favourite surprises of last year was finding out how Jacob Vaughan’s creature feature Bad Milo played with a packed crowd. The scene was set at Toronto’s Scotiabank Theatre during one of Toronto After Dark’s pre-screenings to hype up the upcoming and highly popular genre showcase.
The pre-screening audience award ended up going to Matt Johnson’s innovative indie The Dirties, but hanging in as a close runner up was Bad Milo. It proved that the laughter and spirited groans that occurred during the screening were not forced. Vaughan’s horror/comedy is a crowd pleasing gross-out spectacle with a heart.
Bad Milo is also a proper throwback to camp from the 50’s featuring practical effects and back-to-basics filmmaking. It never feels as if Vaughan is slumming it. He takes his premise as seriously as he can while also realizing how ludicrous the premise is. It’s a great balance, and nowadays that’s rare.
Wylie Writes is giving away a DVD copy of Bad Milo, courtesy of Video Services Corp. and GAT PR. Entering the giveaway is a piece of cake, but you must be 14 or over and live in Canada to take part.
Just “like” the Bad Milo contest post on Wylie Writes’ Facebook page. That’s it, that’s all!
The contest ends on Monday, January 20 at 11:00 pm EDT. One random winner will be contacted through Facebook and prompted to provide an address to which we will mail the prize to.
Good luck! Bad Milo is available on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD on January 21.
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
By: Addison Wylie
Following in the same footsteps as other horror franchises, Paranormal Activity has its faithful fans and its hardcore haters. It’s also a franchise that decides it has to change its beat every third movie in hopes of convincing movie goers that they aren’t watching the same movie over and over again. It’s a business plan that works for me.
Since Paranormal Activity 4 was ordinarily playing the same tune as its fantastic third instalment, it’s that time in the series for the game to change. This time, audiences follow a young cast of Latinos – unrelated to the Paranormal Activity story of Katie’s disappearance and murderous ticks. Best buds Jesse and Hector (played by Andrew Jacobs and Jorge Diaz) carelessly and curiously stumble upon ghostly secrets and evidence of a stoic coven soon after their ritualistic neighbour is found dead in her bloodied apartment.
The series’ naysayers take potshots at Paranormal Activity saying the films are loaded with predictable scares and a shallow sense of creativity. I disagree. The filmmaking team behind each film has set out to provide more backstory stabilizing these darkened origins. They provide strange clues allowing movie goers to piece the nefarious history together. The film’s have been building towards some sort of event that has not yet been revealed, but it’s been fun so far.
However, with Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, I’m afraid I have to echo some of those aforementioned nitpicks from the other side of the fence. This latest instalment is a straight-up “haunted house” movie using way too many jump scares as well as repetitive camera snap pans to reveal surprise appearances.
With the previous flicks, I’ve always been excited to tell people about the latest Paranormal Activity chapter. The third film still feels fresh because I have oodles of excitement when I beam about its inventive use of a “fan cam”. It gives me chills explaining the scares to outsiders.
Christopher Landon’s The Marked Ones didn’t provide me with that sense of elation and his script doesn’t glow of inventiveness.
There are hints of neat ideas sprinkled throughout his horror as we watch Jesse interact with an unseen spirit through a SIMON electronic game (even though this feels like a dated rehash of the Ouija Board from the first Paranormal Activity) and sneaky surveillance footage captured with Jesse’s GoPro camera. I’ll even give the film credit for scaring me a few times with creepy figures making mad dashes towards the camera as well as some sudden flying objects.
But, a lot of what you’ll see in The Marked Ones are frights you’ve not only seen in lower-grade horror movies, but also in creepy theme parks and Halloween hay rides. One spooky setting is found under a hidden trap door. It’s a damp cellar filled with draping plastic sheets where lights conveniently cast shadows of those who may be standing behind them. All that’s missing is someone’s Dad handing out Mars bars.
Audiences don’t get too many establishing shots of rooms or hallways in The Marked Ones with Landon asking movie goers to comb the room for any eerie details. However, there are a bunch of moments featuring a main point-of-view shot creeping towards a door, a curtain, or darkness as we suspect something will eventually leap out. A couple of these work, but the majority of these scares are overcooked to a point where the audience just wants the mysterious thing to jut out so the movie can progress.
Additionally, those who caught 2012’s Chronicle will be reminded of those initial discoveries to superpowers when Jesse is showing off weird abilities for his camera. You would think Landon would’ve conceived these scenes differently in order to remove any semblance to Chronicle. In fact, a lot of these early scenes in The Marked Ones feel like an off-shoot sequel to the superhero found footage caper rather than another film in the Paranormal Activity library.
Regarding the film’s performances, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones is the most conspicuous film out of them all. The Hispanic community is that out of a Grand Theft Auto video game and the reactions to freaky events are showy with very little authenticity to any of it. Although, naysayers who have complained about the constant camera handling will appreciate the lead characters ditching the camera when they feel compelled to aid someone.
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones checks off all the basic requirements to an average scary movie. In that case, this film barely passes by the skin of its teeth. Christopher Landon, who is making his first directorial splash with The Marked Ones, sails with an uncomplex plan to gather the most uniform scares from a supposedly undemanding audience. This maybe could’ve seamlessly worked earlier in the series, but by now, those avid fans want something more than the bare minimum.
But, then that jaw dropper of an ending comes flying in like a dead body through a pane window. It’ll undoubtably split audiences with some thinking the decision is an incredible device to up the ante for the next movie, while others will believe Paranormal Activity has “jumped the shark”.
Personally, it was a pleasant surprise during an experience that was uncomfortably tense. It doesn’t “jump the shark”, but I just hope this bold reroute doesn’t turn the series into a snake eating its own tail.
Antisocial
By: Addison Wylie
Antisocial is middle-of-the-road fare, which I’m sure director/co-writer Cody Calahan doesn’t want to hear.
He wants his film to act as a commentary for how immersed we are with technology and social media. In order to drive home the social satire, he and co-writer Chad Archibald use networking devices as a means to drag the living to a state of infection. Tech junkies start to hallucinate and graphically bleed out of the ears and nose until they fall into a deathly trance.
It all sounds unsubtly heavy-handed – it is. If there’s anything flat-out wrong with Antisocial, it’s how frequently the script hammers in its underlining messages and how openly the writers make their characters reflect. Calahan’s horror wants to be a Twilight Zone episode with a brain, but ends up coming off as a gory after school special.
It’s unfortunate because Calahan and Archibald’s screenplay touches upon an interesting life-or-death dilemma. Because our team of horror movie stock characters are barred inside their own house away from the infectious take over, their only want to gather information is through the Internet. In order to find a solution, they must expose themselves to the danger itself. I can’t fully tip my hat to Antisocial, but I can at least appreciate and respect that there are two fiends behind-the-scenes trying to show creativity through the film’s expected normalities and potential plot holes.
Antisocial is basically Bruce McDonald’s excellent Pontypool repackaged as a pilot for a television show that would have a syndicated run on a teen-centric station. As much as that sounds like a travesty, it’s not.
The soft and shadowy cinematography makes Antisocial stand out, as well as its capibility to make the audience feel trapped in extreme danger. It’s a style that matches the film’s initial party going attitude and is then able to introduce new grim nods with ease into the carefree environment. The acting isn’t half bad either, despite movie goers knowing these roles inside and out as soon as the cast grace the screen.
I’m indifferent towards Antisocial. It managed to keep up its jaunty energy with some good scares and Calahan filled his gore quota with cringing, gnarly results. But, I’m not feeling as thrilled about it as I should be because of the film’s inability to reel back on its assertive subtext. And, when the film hits those dry spots of pure exposition, we feel it – big time.
Again, I have a feeling this neutral feedback is going to stick in Calahan’s craw. He was a filmmaker wanting to entice me with cleverness and instead got a passive “not too shabby” shoulder shrug. Perhaps, he’ll have better luck next time. For now, I’ll stay positive and be happy with what Antisocial gave me – a sack full of grisly noggins.
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked
By: Addison Wylie
While I try hard not to make the obvious crack at a movie, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked really does feel like a movie that’s been conceived by a bunch of stoners progressively coming down from their rich buzz.
It begins on ecstatic notes. For one, Duane Journey’s horror/comedy has some delicious gore that had me squirming. It’s the type of execution that sets the tone for how much of a riot Hansel & Gretel Get Baked will hopefully become. The disgusting details in these kills don’t overstay. The great effects linger just long enough to leave an impression and your face in contorts.
Inflicting the pain is a witch disguised as a marijuana peddling old woman named Agnes. Lara Flynn Boyle plays the role with utmost joy; almost like she’s been waiting for a role like this. The production has caked so much withered make-up onto her face that she successfully stays incognito and pulls off a fun performance that’s consistently campy.
Molly Quinn and Michael Welch as a modernized Gretel and Hansel have no chemistry with each other and fail at making these characters interesting in the slightest, but I at least appreciated Journey’s attempt to make his two main characters detectives.
When Gretel’s boy toy goes missing after a weed run to Agnes’, Quinn’s hunt is what has us hanging on. The film focuses on this fragment of a mystery instead of grasping on to something bigger, but we’re still oddly hooked; mostly because we want to know where this wild ride ends up. However, the half baked investigation would’ve been more enjoyable if Quinn’s questioning hadn’t been so shrill and Welch had something to do other than snapping pictures and firing off lame quips.
Right as I was about to claim Hansel & Gretel Get Baked as a slight guilty pleasure, the energetic high tapered off. After about 40 minutes of Journey’s absurdities, it’s almost as if everyone collectively realized how complicated making a movie can be and how dumb the film’s concept was. You can feel the film’s giant sigh as it slouches and exhaustively tries to finish what it’s started.
Because everyone stops having fun, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked becomes a colossal bore as it wraps up each loose end as lazily as possible. A perfect example would be how two seemingly important cops are taken care of.
Even Boyle starts slumming with her role. As Agnes captures her prey, she sucks their youth out of them, which in turn makes her look younger. As more make-up is removed off of Boyle’s face, her excitement fades. It’s known that costuming and physical transformations can help inspire an actor. I believe that by taking this disguise away from Boyle, it affects her ability to perform well. Take a scene where a younger Agnes tries to seduce one of Gretel’s friends by flirting with her. It feels forced and the complete opposite of either sexy or funny.
Duane Journey and his dopey movie are not asking for much. They want the audience to have a good time. And, if those good times are heightened with the help of certain substances, even better! But, because the film doesn’t have the strength to carry its own weight to a point where it’s fed up with itself, the audience is snoozing right along with the lethargy on screen.
The Purge
By: Addison Wylie
While it’s not a horror, the scariest aspect of The Purge is how seriously the concept is taken.
James DeMonaco issues a smart move and doesn’t make the idea of a 12-hour violent free-for-all campy by any means. He plays his role as writer/director with a straight face and watches that his thriller and its screenplay keeps its realism but doesn’t come off as oppressive or stuffy.
This warped way of communal cleansing called “The Purge” is spun into something that’s deemed as normal. By making “The Purge” into an anticipated past time that’s as American as baseball and apple pie, DeMonaco walks a thin line that could easily be interpreted as the filmmaker assuming that North American society has become obsessed with violence and are not bothered by revenge. We actually look forward to settling a score as grittily as possible.
Thankfully, the filmmaker is still aware he’s behind a camera telling a fictitious story and not standing on a soapbox. He miraculously dodges multiple bullets that one would think would poke holes in his material. There’s still an existing properly managed allegory, however, with enough oomph to draw us in and make a social statement.
Message aside, this is still very much a magnetic adult thriller with an ominous atmosphere. DeMonaco gives his viewers what they came for whilst telling a story about a protected suburban family trapped in their own abode as they face a time limit against possible – occasionally dotty – intruders.
The Purge is a very intense movie that doesn’t relish in blood and gore. When gruesome images are shown, they gather the right reactions from the audience who has been appropriately sheltered from anything graphic.
It’s a film that toys with haunted house tropes and utilizes a fair dosage of jump scares, but movie goers never feel as if we’re travelling down a tired route. That said, there are those moments of predictability where we think we’re a few steps ahead of DeMonaco. But, almost immediately, the nimble filmmaker throws us a curveball – damning us for ever doubting him.
I was pleasantly surprised with The Purge. Any movie that touts itself as a product brought to us from people involved with recent horror money makers like Paranormal Activity and Sinister sets itself up for a “been there, done that” fate. I’m glad to see there’s an exception to the rule that’ll have frozen movie goers biting their nails.
Wylie Writes 